Remembering Mother--mine, yours, and all those who take her place in your life

On this Mother's Day, I want to put forth a challenge.

Not all of us have a "Hallmark" mother.  Many people have been hurt by their mother.  An unfortunate fact of life, even when the mother never intended to be hurtful.  I can relate--being the middle child with an older brother and sister and a younger sister and brother, I felt a little invisible at home--feeling that I wasn't as important to my mom as the other children.

As a young adult I began to acknowledge those hurts, and spent some time trying to figure it all out.  But then I became a mother too--wow!--did that change my perspective?! 
God was so good to provide me with some wisdom about the wounds in my heart--He is a HEALER! Also...take heart my friend...

He makes ALL things good according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28). 

I challenge you to embrace your memories, wounds, AND blessings of your childhood, KNOWING that God uses all things in your life for His purposes.
 

I don't think my mom had a handle on how I felt as the middle child, or how to do deal with it.  After all, like my sister says below, "mother was always the life of the party, and was never at a loss for words."  But I was VERY shy and being invisible became a "comfort zone" for me. I struggled with feeling insignificant, and from time to time, I still fight the spiritual battle to overcome that lie.

I know God took all of that and used it for good, however.  He gave me a heart that really breaks for shy kids because of my own experience.  In first grade I was nauseous everyday for six weeks because I was so afraid of reading out loud in reading circle. One day I actually up-chucked on the child sitting next to me (my most embarrassing moment!).

I wanted to be invisible--after all, it was my comfort zone--but in that reading circle, my time to read forced me into visibility.  Now I know that what a shy child needs is special one-on-one attention and baby steps out of the comfort zone of being invisible.  I thank God for my first grade teacher, Mrs. Shirley, who nurtured me as a second mother that year.  And now....I don't crave leadership and standing before a crowd, but I can do it in the strength of the Lord when I know it's His plan for me. And it's always a victory for me, the shy girl.

And, God has now placed in my heart a deep desire to help others find their significance and purpose in God's kingdom--and that gives me significance too.

 

I know it's hard to let go of bitterness, hurts, and disappointments, but again I challenge you to let the healing power of God, His love, and His grace, wash over your mind and empower you to seek out the good that God has made of these things for His purposes. We are meant to be overcomers!

The following conversation took place between my younger sister and I about our Mother....things that we have become more aware of and are more meaningful to us now that we are older....I want to share them with you. 

from Andi..."My Mom has always been the life of the party, never without words, loves people (with all her heart and soul) and has decided to see the good in everyone and focus on the positive wonders of their life. She's taught me how to look beyond someone's faults, weaknesses, quirks, and see their greatness. She's always there for me and I don't know what I would have done without her in my life for the last ten years."

from me..."The older I get the more I appreciate her character. She now has numerous ailments, but she continues to feel blessed and grateful for her simple life and as she says, "I have everything and more than I need." When we were growing up she was always saying, "We may be poor in money, but we're RICH in love". That really was the MOST important thing to her.

from Andi....."I'm tearing up....Mother has said to me,  'If the only reason to be alive is to help you with Monte's sisters and niece, that's why I'm gonna stay alive.' She has touched my heart with her life. And the astounding thing is, I couldn't do it without her. She has become their "Mother" figure. I see her loving on those girls and my heart leaps!' (my sister and brother-in-law are the caregivers of his 2 sisters, and a niece who each have developmental challenges)

Our Mother has faced many challenges in her life, but always made it through with a positive attitude, and a thankful heart.  She was and remains an example to all her children of persevering through trials with an uncompromising spirit, and coming out on the other side stronger and wiser. 

As her children, we can thank God for a mother who taught us right and wrong, expected the best from us, and made sure we became responsible adults who love the Lord.

 Even if you cannot say those things about your mother, I pray that there are other "moms" in your life that have showed you love and guided you along your way.  Look for them....they are there just waiting for the opportunity to love on you!

"Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."  Philippians 4:8 (The Message)

My Mother's 80th birthday celebration, 2008

 

My brother Rick, Tracey (my brother's daughter), Me, sisters Andi and Carla, Jenny (my daughter), , and Mother

Happy Mother's Day, to my Mother, and to all the women in my life who have influenced my walk of being a Mother...I love you all....Mommy, Mom (my gracious mother-in-love), Aunt Gloria, Carla, Andi, Jan Whatley, Jan Rice, Joyce Ryan, Elaine Russo, Gwyn Rosser, Cindy McCloy, Lou Cogsdill, Cilli, Becky, and many more....